April may march in June.
Have the happiest Mothers Day with your mother.

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If someone were to see me on the street, they might think Chinese. In Chinatown, where Chinese are everywhere, I am a teen. And in my own school, where there is a sizeable population of Chinese teens, people would look at me and think "giftie."

Conceptually, the gifted program is supposed to choose, with an IQ test, the most intelligent students and place them in a separate class, enriched by extra funding, special teachers and a modified curriculum. For better or for worse, however, it’s much more than that.

First, the students in the gifted class are not there because they are hard workers or because they study well, or even because they are good students; they have been chosen for their ability to absorb information quickly.

In fact, my class prides itself in its ability to pass exams without doing assignments, without studying and often without taking notes.

This approach worked well in primary school, worked OK in junior high, and well, flops in high school. The volume of information we are required to know has exceeded what we can cram into our heads in a single night.

I look up at the colleges and universities and then I look down at my horrid work habits and I am afraid. I am very afraid.

Unfortunately, regardless of how afraid I am, my peers expect me to read five books a day, write mathematical treatises in my spare time and regularly donate apples to my teachers.

I am not at all ashamed to say that I do none of these. The label, however, seems branded into my forehead.

When someone finds out I am a giftie, a rift inevitably forms between the two of us. I am expected to be different, arrogant, uninterested in the same things as other teens – an adult in disguise.

When I do find friends outside my class, we are inevitably separated within several years when we graduate to different schools, he to a nearby one and I to a gifted one much farther away.

That is not to say, of course, the program is unnecessary or superfluous; it is simply both good and bad. Through it, I have met many talented individuals, some of whom have enormous potential.

The extra material and unique environment will certainly help these students to achieve their goals. As for myself, I simply cross my fingers, close my eyes and hope the readers of my college transcript will skim over my grades, see the word gifted and place as much weight on that as my peers and teachers have in the past.

See DiscoverTeenergy.com Feature Topic "Gifted/Enrichment" for more related information.

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Failure is one of those really irritating things in life, isn’t it? Everybody gets a dose of it every now and then. EVERYBODY! No matter what we do, we eventually fail at something. It is a very difficult thing to accept for many people. We all want to be seen as perfect, doing the perfect thing, thinking perfect thoughts, having perfect relationships and living perfect lives. Unfortunately, we are often confronted with the reality that we are less than perfect. When failure comes, there is often a sense of devastation and a loss of self-esteem can go along with it too.

What is failure? Failure is simply something that slows you down. It is not a real thing but an abstract concept in your head that you create and to which you attach negative feelings. Quite often we believe that there is nothing that can be done about it. It feels like a loss and taken as a sign of personal imperfection and weakness. Think twice.

Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Einstein failed in over 80 experiments in his attempt to develop his theories and became invaluable to other researchers who wanted to know what didn’t work! Edison tried hundreds of light bulb designs before one worked. Imagine if he had given up. Each failure taught him something new that made the next experiment better, until voila! Most inventions and breakthroughs in life are made after great, ongoing failure. Aren’t you glad the people persisted? Learn from them. Persist like them, despite the failure.

Sometimes it appears that someone has failed when in reality they have succeeded. A ski jumper is perceived to intentionally fall off a ski ramp. The crowd thinks he has lost his nerve and discuss the defeat. In fact, he may have done it intentionally to save his life because he realized he was going too fast and would have jumped beyond the slope and crashed into the flat zone below. (true story) Investors who sell out during a stock crash may have lost money but they didn’t lose it all. A daredevil bails out at the last second to avoid a foreseen disastrous jump. So did they fail or not?

Changing directions in the middle of something may be painful. To start over after so much time and effort invested may be difficult but to stop a failing endeavor is a success-oriented act! The wisest decision you might make is to stop failing now and to choose instead to succeed later.

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Art Gallery of Ontario Evening/Weekend Art Courses (apply now)

Auctions to attend: Waddington’s, 111 Bathurst St. @ Adelaide, Toronto, ON.

Canadian College Italy (apply for the summer courses)

Canadian International Documentary Film Festival

Driver Education Program (good time to start)

Rotary Agri-Food Career Adventure (visit an agricultural college)

Ryerson University Engineering Project for Women (great summer course)

Science Outreach Program (U. of Toronto summer science course)

Toronto International Dragon Boat Race Festival (on Toronto islands each year)

Young Peoples Press Summer Institute for Teen Journalists

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(from an article by Kevin McGran, Transportation Reporter)

The Toronto Transit Commission is interested in increasing ridership. They decided to go the creative route. Let’s make it fun to ride public transportation! Here are some of the bright ideas of things to do while riding the bus:

• passengers could play bingo sponsored by a bingo hall
• gamble. A mini casino, with prizes, could be set up in each bus.
• let coffee companies sponsor buses and have waiters serving coffee
• a breakfast bus with Dixieland music
• better heating systems with radiating walls just below windows

Hey folks, is that the best we can do? How about having a street musician on each bus? Or maybe a comedian? How about a friendly bus driver that takes time to know the regulars on his/her route?

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You probably laughed when you read the title of this career, didn’t you? Surprisingly enough, this is not as odd as it may seem.

Why would you do this? Since Cirque du Soleil revolutionized circuses, the demand for top performers has increased greatly. Drawing from oriental and European sources, the show has gone on but the demand for top performers is increasing.

Cirque du Soleil wants to establish permanent shows in many cities around the world – talk is already on about one in Toronto. To meet the demand for performers, the National Circus School was set up in Montreal to train young people in circus arts. Majors include such skills as tightrope, trapeze, clowning and other circus skills. It is the only institution of its kind in North America to offer this kind of package of performing arts and normal educational academics.

The circus has gained a whole new respect as a legitimate art form and is growing again as a form of entertainment.

If you are a good gymnast, dancer, strongman, or have any other specialized skill that you think might be suitable in a circus, contact them.

What do you do with what you learn? You might get to be a part of the big Cirque du Soleil or Cirque Eloize, join smaller European troupes or start your own solo cabaret act. The money is pretty good too.

For mostly the police departments of the world, a forensic microscopist uses various kinds of microscopes to: identify fibres or substance samples found at crime scenes, verify or provide conclusive evidence that will be used in court cases, search for patterns of relatedness in objects found in different locations, and/or identify mystery liquids and solids that might have been used to contaminate a substance.

In this job, you could expect interaction with the scientific, chemical, legal, pharmaceutical, medical, geological fields as well as contact with many providers of manufactured goods in the business world. The challenge is of course to solve mysteries: What is the substance? What does this evidence in this location prove? Where did something come from? How did it get there? What was it used for?

Qualities needed would be patience, an excellent memory, great attention to detail, very observant, creative thinking, and excellent logical thinking.

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Best Lawyer Story of the Year, Decade and Probably the Century.

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things.
Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued .... and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars "were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.
This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent
Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

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-CONGRATULATONS TO MIKE WEIR, Masters Golf Champion. He is one of the smallest players on the circuit, is one of a very small number of left-handed golfers on the circuit and is Canadian! He won $1 million but stands to make about $10 million over the next while in endorsements, etc. Interesting tidbit!! Weir was paid $1 million to wear a hat with the Bell Canada logo on it. The hat was shown for 10 minutes and 48 seconds during the tournament. That translates into $3.1 million in advertising exposure for Bell Canada and it only cost them $1 million!

-Julia Roberts is the highest paid actress in Hollywood. She makes $32 million per movie. Nicole Kidman makes $25 million per movie.

-since World War 2, there have been over 750,000 new chemicals brought into our environment.

-in 1998, nearly 800 Ontario kids under age 6 were identified as autistic. This was a 53% jump from two years before.(Queen’s Park presentation by Michael Gravell, March, 2000)

-the sweetest substance on earth is Stevia. It is a wonderful, natural sugar substitute and has many beneficial properties of value to diabetics, people trying to lose weight, those with high blood pressure and/or hypertension.

-the group Parents of Fluoride Poisoned Children have studies that prove that fluoride in toothpaste and water can cause gum disease and mouth cancer. There is a growing awareness of the dangers of fluoride (waste left over from processing aluminum!)

-MSG (monosodium glutamate) can masquerade as: sodium caseinate, gelatin, yeast extract, textured protein, hydrolyzed plant protein and glutamate. MSG is a meat tenderizer and flavour enhancer that can literally turn meat into mush. Try putting some on a piece of meat and letting it sit in the fridge for 24 hours. Do you really want to put this stuff into your body?

-there were 483 reported aliens/UFO sightings in Canada in 2002. One third of them were in British Columbia. There were none in Prince Edward Island. Perhaps they don’t like Anne of Green Gables?

-Dolly, the cloned sheep has died. She was middle-aged in sheep years but exhibited signs of an older animal. She had progressive lung disease as well as arthritis. (comment: studies have shown that whatever grows or is born from cloned cells is the age of the source cells. There are also many genetic defects that happen during the cloning that cannot be prevented. Greater powers than mere mortals have decided that we can only tinker with the basics of life so much. Isn’t it nice to know that we can only screw up to a pre-determined limit?)
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(from an article in the Toronto Star)

People get very upset when politics and sports get mixed together. Sports is supposed to be about, well, sports. Here are some upsetting moments in Canadian sports history when French-English language problems arose:

Feb, 1998 – the Canadian Olympic Association apologized to the athletes for the lack of French spoken at a reception in Nagano.

Feb, 1998 – Don Cherry upsets Quebecers when he criticizes the choice of freestyle skier Jean-Luc Brassard as Canada’s flag bearer at the Nagano Olympic Games.

Feb 1998 – Bloc Quebecois MP Suzanne Tremblay is shocked at the number of Canadian flags at the Nagano Winter Olympics.

Aug, 1998 – At a news conference in Toronto, the Commonwealth Games Association of Canada announces the flag-bearer only in English despite French media people being present.

Nov 2002 – "O Canada" was originally to be sung only in English at the Grey Cup game in Edmonton. Montreal Mayor Gerald Tremblay complained and changes were made.

Dec, 2002 – Jennifer Carroll waved only a Quebec flag while on the podium to accept a swimming medal. Rules state that only Canadian flags are allowed.

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(from News Canada)

No matter how young or old you are, it is a good idea to save something for the future. How you do that will often be determined by your investment personality. Where in the following do you fit in?

Security Investors – protect their money because they may need it in the next few years. They don’t like risk. Their portfolio has more treasury bills and money market funds.

Balanced Investors – comfortable with moderate income and capital growth but don'’ like great fluctuations in returns on their investments. Their portfolio would have high quality bonds or mortgages and also equity holdings.

Growth-oriented Investors – look for long-term growth and are willing to endure great market ups and downs which allow for greater gain in the long run. Their portfolio holds a greater number of equities than fixed-income investments.

Aggressive-growth Investors – can handle greater risks over a long term of investment. Their portfolio is about 95% equities and 5% fixed-income investments which offer high growth potential.

Here is an investment strategy based on compounded interest. Save $5,000 by the time you are twenty and tuck it away. In 45 years when you are 65, and assuming the money is not touched or even added to, and returns are only a modest 5% return compounded each year, that original amount will have grown to about $40,000. $10,000 saved becomes approx. $80,000, $20,000 becomes $160,000, $50,000 becomes $400,000.

(from an article by Laurie Anne King in Pet Talk Magazine)

The natural world continues in endless cycles of birth, death and rebirth despite human intervention. An unseen force appears to be constantly directing all of life. This is Nature.

Somewhere along the line we have disconnected from the natural world through our belief systems, moral regiments and economical structures. We now have artificial bonds with the earth.

In our artificial world we have humanized our domesticated animals and disconnected them from their natural place in nature. Now they too want to sit on the couch and watch TV with you!

So how do we communicate with the world of nature? Believe you can!! As a child, you communed with all of nature in play and interaction. There was a deep respect for the forces of nature. It is still possible to revive that connection to the real world.

Animals remind us of what we seek. We vicariously experience their connection to nature as their expression of unconditional love and trust that they will be taken care of. We should do the same. Perhaps we will better understand our inter-relationship with animals and the natural world. There is so much to learn from our animal friends and nature.

(from an article by Harold Lass, Toronto Computes)

Great scavenger hunt fun for everybody. Go to the following websites for different kinds of WebQuests and full instructions:

For more information: enter "webquest" in any search engine.

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(based on an article by Sharlene Myers, Toronto Computes)

Many people rush through their day trying to do 2-3 things at the same time instead of one at a time to completion. The concept is called multi-tasking.

Multi-tasking leads to shorter attention spans, a sense of being overwhelmed, a sense of constantly being rushed, and a constant urge to be doing something. It is an increasingly bad habit that is driving people to higher levels of stress and over-stimulation. When the habit applies to interpersonal relationships, it fragments conversations and reduces communication in many ways.

Here are some signs that you are multi-tasking:

-switching between internet or computer programs to check email or calendar in case you have missed something.

-facing questions unrelated to what you are doing, you get the urge to research and find the answers instantly.

-leaving one thing unfinished to start another and then worrying about something else that should be done and then forgetting what was supposed to be done in the first place.

-being anxious about emails and other messages that need instant replies while you are playing an internet game.

-interrupting work or a game to look up something on a search engine.

-having the urge to get a second computer so that nothing is missed.

-looking up information that you don’t really need but is interesting at the moment.

-watching more than one program on TV.

-chatting with friends in a chat room while playing a game on another website.

-ALWAYS being available by cell phone i.e. in class, on the bus, at home. You just don’t want to miss out on anything! Are you really that important?

We all have only one stream of time. Let’s try to use it in saner ways:

-Get into the habit of starting one thing and doing it to completion and then moving on to the next task. You will feel less harried and stressed. You will also feel a sense of accomplishment instead of constant semi-completion.

-Guard your privacy and keep some time to yourself exclusively. Why would you let others intrude into your life any time they wanted to?

-Give your brain a chance to learn and understand one thing fully before distracting it with something else. You will appreciate it more.

-Realize that many things will be there for you later. Your priority is the task at hand. Learn to postpone effectively.

-don’t be lured off task by trivial, inconsequential things. Everything is not of equal importance. Learn to discriminate. Write them down and go to them later if you really can’t ignore them.

-take some time to reflect on what is important to you in life. Do you work to live or live to work? Who owns your time and life? What is the worst that can happen if you live your life more slowly and fully?

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(from an article by John H. Richardson in Esquire Magazine)

Did you know that happy people make more money, are healthier and have more friends? Why does this happen?

Happy people:

• are happier if their ability and the task at hand are closely matched
• Show less misery which is often caused by wanting things that are contradictory. For example, I want to be a good worker but I don’t want to do very much work
• tend to be healthier, more creative, more productive, and more altruistic (willing to give of oneself for the betterment of others)
• tend to take things less seriously and negatively
• tend to do better at complex tasks because they are more likely to search for better solutions to problems and are also more careful about not making mistakes
• live longer, sometimes up to 6-10 years!
• contribute more to charities which makes them feel good
• have better social lives which keeps them in a good mood
• are stronger at resisting temptation to get into trouble
• have stronger immune systems and are less likely to get ill
• are more reliable workers, make higher salaries and tend to get more job interviews
• have long-term goals that are a pleasure to work toward

-Although people who have no money are consistently more depressed than those people who have enough, after basic needs are met, money has little effect.

-The richest people in a country are a little happier but not enough to make up for all the extra time and effort they put into earning it.

-Women are just as happy as men but are twice as prone to depression.

-studies show that Latin Americans are happier than Asians, Asians are not as happy as Americans, Scandinavians have a high rate of happiness as well as a high rate of suicide.

Book to read: The Structure of Psychological Well-Being by Norman M. Bradburn

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Life, Paint and Passion: Reclaiming The Magic of Spontaneous Expression by Michell Cassou & Stewart Cubley. Go into your heart instead of your head to learn how to use your energy to create spontaneously.
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(muse-ings by O.S. based on ads in Eye Magazine)

Music and music makers are very important parts of our societies. In North America, the rock bands of today are very different from those around in the 1950’s-80’s. The most interesting way they have changed is in their names.

From the 1950’s to the present, bands have slowly gotten more "in your face" names that are often very creative. At first there were groups such as Buddy Holly and the Crickets or the Shirelles or The Temptations and the Beatles. Now we have ones called Ladybug Thrusts and the Arousal Disasters. Is this really necessary to go that far off the trail of normalcy? If a group’s music is really good, people will find them and support them no matter what their name. So why bother having a name that might cause nausea or mental breakdown?

It seems that modern day band names need to be shocking and grotesque in order to catch peoples’ attention. Unfortunately, the name can also suggest that they aren’t very good to begin with. It may be that gullible people will go to see if the group matches the absurdity of the name. It may work to get a few paying customers to attend a concert/gig but does it help to build a long-term audience of admirers? Anything for an audience, I guess.

Here are some strange and funny names that were gleaned from various sources: Torn Down Units, Lab-Cap, the Monkey Mob, God Made Me Funky, Sometimes Why, Turn Off the Stars, Lederhosen Lucil, Eyesleep, The Downbelows, Pagan Mary, Flossy & the Jube Jubes, The Great Lake Swimmers, Dream of Consciousness, The Forgotten Rebels, Electric Lettuce, Microbunny, Taking Back Sunday, Mushroom Head, Do Make Say Think, Jazzberry Ram.

How do they come up with them? How much farther out in left field will they get? Up into the bleachers? Stay tuned.

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(based on an interview on CBC radio)

Religious faith and secular faith are pretty well the same. A loving trust is present. There is something that is worthy of trust and there is faith in it more or less all the time. A relationship develops.

In religious faith, there is trust in a Supreme Being that is the object of a loving trust. A Supreme Being is considered to be perfect, omnipresent and totally reliable. God as the centre of devotion can be asked for help, directly or through Jesus Christ, for spiritual strength and/or strength to love Him and our neighbour.

In secular faith, the trust may be in science, nature or something more comprehendible and earthly. Again, the idea is that it provides reliability and reassurance of stability and is continually present. There is comfort in knowing it meets needs and answers questions.

The question is which can you trust the most? Which best helps growth in faith, love, charity and hope in life?

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(by O.S.)

Jean Charest is now the new premier of Quebec as of Monday, April 14^th when he and the Liberal party won a majority of the seats in the Quebec legislature. What are some of the implications of this election?

-decline of the separatist movement in Quebec. People there are tired of constant upset and stress relating to separation and threat of yet another referendum. They decided a change was necessary.

-Bernard Landry, the former premier, will most likely resign and a new leader elected. This may seem ordinary but this will be the first time in many years that a leader of the Parti Quebequois is actually elected at a party convention. The last few have all had power turned over to them in transition by the premier who stepped down.

-hopefully better federal-provincial relationships will result. Former Quebec premiers unfortunately refused to attend some meetings, opted out of important social issues decisions and laws and in general tried to deal with the federal government as if Quebec was already a sovereign and independent nation. They even wanted to attend meetings of nations as an independent country.

-a whole new energy in the province is likely to arise. Newly-elected Liberals are flush with victory and idealistically eager to get on with doing good works.

-all of Canada is probably sighing in relief as a major worry and problem has been somewhat reduced and, for the time being, made less dramatic.

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(from a variety of sources)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.

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"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne, deceased actor.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. --Al Gore, US Vice President

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle, former US VP.

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" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
--George W. Bush, US President

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca, former CEO of Chrysler Corp.

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"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, US President

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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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(from an article by Adria Vasil in Now Magazine)

Tired of rushing through meals that take 30 seconds to prepare, a minute to swallow and that are truly unhealthy for you?

About 20 years ago, a small group of gourmets in Italy got together to stand up for real food as McDonalds was ready to move into an old Roman plaza in their city. They issued the Slow Food Manifesto.

Food forms our social fabric. It is a perishable art and a source of sensual pleasure. Their desire was for home-cooked meals and two-hour lunches!

Around the globe people started reacting and now over 65,000 people who are tired of the feeding frenzies we call meals have signed on to the eat-slow-with-friends philosophy.

In the mid 1990’s, followers were encouraged to eat locally grown organic foods and to buy from small-scale artisans and food producers.

How to avoid the fast-food virus in your home:

1. Invite someone to dinner and make the meal from scratch, perhaps together.
2. Savour the flavours of the food you eat together.
3. Linger over your conversation and realize that the little moments add up to a well-lived life.

Thoughts about food:

-there are about 500 types of apples that can be grown in Ontario but stores only sell about five or six varieties.

-at least one well-prepared and fully cooked from scratch meal each week can become a true pleasure.

-eating should be a ritual and occasion in daily life. Jewish people have ritual meals on Friday nights. Why can’t more people enjoy a real meal regularly?

-fast food medical problems are on the rise. There should be warning labels on over-processed, "dead" food.

-eating slowly increases digestive enzymes and eases digestion. On-the-run meals irritate the digestive system leading to possible food allergies and illness because food is not broken down properly.

-eating locally grown food means naturally ripened food that is more nutritious.

-slowing down meals will increase the chances of creating space and time to sit down and enjoy family and friends.

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(from Divorce Magazine)

Here are some do’s and don’ts of negotiating with someone:

-listen attentively

-respect the other person’s point of view

-make your point clearly without whining or blaming

-separate out the "non- negotiables" from areas of compromise

-look for "happy medium" solutions that all can accept

-bring up past disputes or issues

-be rude, interrupt, blame, or patronize the other person(s)

-present "absolute" demands "You must…" or "You will never.."

-give in to demands because you are intimidated or feel guilty

-expect to get everything you want

Here are some helpful tips teens can use when approaching parents:

Part (2) Negotiating Suggestions For Teenagers
(by O.S.)

Parents don’t like major surprises in this regard because their music and the musicians are sometimes so different from yours. As well, there weren’t as many dangers, drugs, extremists and weirdos as there are today. You will eventually want to go to a concert, but start preparing parents months before.

Ask parents about their experiences at concerts they attended. Get a feel for the kind of atmosphere they were in. What was good and bad? Who did they go with? What was it like? Ask what conditions their parents established for them. Ask what conditions they might consider for you if you went. If they get suspicious and ask your intentions, you can honestly say that you have no plans to go to a concert at the present time - which you don’t. Tell them what you think and feel about today’s concerts. Ask them what they think about today’s concerts.

About a month before the concert, lay out all your plans: who, what, when, where, why and the conditions you think would be fair for you (based on what parents told you about theirs). Show the plan to your parents and get their comments and suggestions for improvement. Parents want to trust you. Show them you are trustworthy and caring of their fears and worries about you going. Agree to honestly discuss your thoughts and feelings about the concert afterward, if they let you go. After the concert, you may decide it was not for you and by telling your parents you will show good judgment. Let your parents know that you might not enjoy it, but you want to try one out - a test run, so to speak. NOW ask for permission to go.

If worse comes to worse, invite a parent, relative, reliable friend of the family to go along to allay parental fears. At least you get to go.

Parents are absolutely most concerned about your schoolwork suffering if it comes to you taking on a job. Do not just arrive home one day and surprise your parents by telling them you have a new job. Bad news! Again, well in advance, discuss their first job. What conditions were set up for them by their parents? What effect did it have on their schoolwork? When and how many hours would they consider best for you if you worked?

The next important step is invaluable. Together with your parents, write out a contract: I will look for a job that lets me work between the hours of…., I promise to keep my marks at a … level. If my marks go down, I will:…I will quit the job on the following conditions:… The trial period is…

Get parents to write down their side of the agreement too. We promise to let you work these hours… If your marks go down, we may… We will allow this much time… for you to adjust to having a job as well. We may have to renegotiate this contract under the following conditions… EVERYBODY SIGNS IT.

NOW ask for permission to go out to find a job.

(Caution: Be aware that many employers slowly get youths to work more and more hours until it gets to be a major problem without them even realizing it. Don’t sacrifice your education for a few dollars! A few extra dollars now can cost you later on in life.)

Dating is also a leading cause of parent nightmares – especially with daughters. Who is this person that wants to take my son/daughter away from the family??? If you haven’t dated before, you may want to prepare your parents and also get some valuable advice from them.

Discuss your parents dating lives and find out: When, who, what, where, why, how. Find out if it was a positive or negative experience for them. When going out for the first time, be open about who your date is and perhaps have your parents meet him/her beforehand. Perhaps invite him/her over to your house with other friends well before the date. Ask for your parents’ opinions of him/her. Get them to check out the person for you by talking with him/her. It is much safer for you if your parents approve of the person. Perhaps they see something you missed. It is all to your benefit. NOW ask for the opportunity to go out on a date.

Before going out, write down the place, time, emergency phone number on a piece of paper, just like your parents do or should do when they go out. Be honest and open. Be trustworthy and get home on time, every time. Tell parents something about the date (no, not everything!!) so they feel you have nothing to hide.

Some of the above may seem a little old fashioned but all of the methods encourage openness, communication, trust and no surprises that can cause anger, frustration and needless arguing. Be mature and be in charge in a nice way.

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Being "involved in stuff" is not the same as being purposeful.

If you had followed through on every feeling you’ve ever had, you would either be dead, in jail, or married eighty-seven times.

Maturity means putting values before feelings.

What you provoke you must take half the credit for.

Never do something that diminishes you in your own eyes.

No one who supports your weakest parts loves you.

God always answers prayers. Sometimes He answers "Yes." Sometimes He answers "No," and sometimes the answer is "you gotta be kidding." – Jimmy Carter

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Some more punny stuff:

1. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
   2. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
   3. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
   4. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
   5. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
   6. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
   7. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
   8. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
   9. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
   10. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
   11. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
   12. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
   13. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
   14. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

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Maurice entered the barbershop and said emphatically to the barber, "I want my hair cut so that it’s long here, here, here, and here, sort of wavy in this section but straight just below, sort of spiked on this diagonal with a slanted taper, and bald patches here, here, here, and here. I want my hair so ugly that every female who sees me nearly passes out?

The barber looked at him and said, "I don’t think I can do that!"

"Why not?" asked Maurice. "You did it the last time I was here!"

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Advertisement for a ladies golf tournament: " 32 Women. One purse."

For shear, cutting edge information, come back next month.

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